VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

We learn simply by the exposure of living.
Much that passes for education
is not education but ritual.
The fact is that we are being educated…
when we know it least.

--David P. Gardner

When my mother, Edwina Kathleen Cunningham passed away on April 20th, 2005 my husband David and I decided to follow her wish to have her memorial as a celebration of her life…rather than mourning her death. And that we did. David prepared a wonderful visual presentation of her life with music that portrayed the woman she was. I decided to write a summation of the many valuable life lessons she gave me and give them out to everyone in attendance at her memorial on May 3rd.

The intent of this Blog is to share my philosophy for healthy, balanced living with others. It seems an appropriate place to offer how my mother’s influence contributed to the woman I am today. Although her given name was Edwina…she preferred to be called Winnie. So here is is…Winnie’s Wisdom and the many invaluable life lessons I learned from having her as my role model. Thanks Mom…this one is for you with love and appreciation from your only daughter. I hope anyone who reads this will take what fits and maybe pass it on to others.

WINNIE’S WISDOM:

…Develop and maintain an attitude of gratitude. Be sure to express appreciation for whatever blessings you are given moment by moment and day by day.

…It is not the size of your bank account that matters…but the size of your heart and ability to give.

…God is always there to help us through, keep your faith, pray and ask for guidance and it will come…it always does.

...When you pray for an answer and it is no…remember that is still an answer.

.. .No matter how bad things are…they always get better because there is a beginning, middle and end to everything in life.

…Live by the Golden Rule and ALWAYS treat others the way you like to be treated. Have understanding, acceptance and respect for differences, even when you disagree. When people let you down try to understand why they do what they do. If that isn’t possible then forgive them anyway. Let things go and move on—life is too short to hang on to ‘stuff.’

…Always remember that people’s opinions are just that—you don’t have to buy into it if it seems stupid. Who made them the authority anyway?

…Trust your Inner Knowing…it is a far better yardstick than other people’s opinion and their rejection of you and your ideas.

…Don’t borrow trouble---worrying and fearing things can draw them to you. Half of what we worry about never happens so don’t waste time and energy on things until they actually happen.

…Watch what you ask you--you could get it!

…God never promised us a rose garden--but stop and smell them anyway.

…Make wishes upon stars, keep dreaming your dreams and make your passions happen.

…When people give you a compliment—don’t counter it and accept it graciously.

…Pay attention to the little things that make life sweet. Remember to feel wind cooling your face on a hot summer day; enjoy the scent of lilacs in the spring, hoar frost in the winter and the way everything smells after a rainfall. Think of those who are disabled in some way and cannot taste, feel touch, smell, see and hear. Little things can be big blessings!

…Ask yourself on a regular basis…if you were to die today how would people remember you?

…Don’t buy into stereotypes. How people look on the outside doesn’t matter. Everyone bleeds the same color and our differences fade when we look for common ground.

…Keep the kid in you nourished...that is where innocence, joy, enchantment and the unlimited possibilities of magical thinking originate. When you lose touch with that side of yourself life can get old and stale really fast.

…Believe in yourself or no one else will.

…Listen to your inner own knowing and trust it.

…It’s okay to be funky, dress the way you want and express who you are at any point in life.

…Age is only a number. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

…Respect and love everything within in nature. Creatures large and small are God’s gift to us to let us know we are not alone. Look for treasures and bring them home as a reminder of your connection to the natural world. Celebrate each rite of passage with something special.

… You are only young once but can be a kid forever…if you allow yourself. You’re never too old to enjoy teddy bears, stuffed toys, dolls cars, trains or whatever else makes you happy.

…Animals and other creatures have feelings. Pay attention and treat them gently and cause no harm to any living thing. They have a right to be here and fulfill a part of God’s plan for creation.

…Dog’s ability to love us unconditionally is the way God loves us—maybe that is why dog is God spelled backwards.

…Kneel down to eye level when talking to children it creates a feeling of equality.

…When guests come to visit always remember that love is in the details. Create a lovely setting, bring out the best linens, special soaps and create ambiance. Then while you’re cooking stir a whole bunch of love into the mix. When it is time to eat say a prayer of grace and let them know how fortunate you feel to have them in your life. Without loving families and friends life can be hard to bear.

…To have a friend you need to be one. Reach out, stay in touch and be there through the good and hard times.

…When you talk to people look always look into their eyes, pay attention and really listen. Don’t interrupt. When you do offer a sincere apology and strive to become a more attentive listener.

…It is easy to take things for granted. Be sure to express gratitude, say that you let others know what you value about who they are and what they do.

…It is not the size or cost of a gift that counts…only how much love, care and thought went into it.

…Remember to feed the sparrows in the winter. God leaves them behind to remind us that during the longest, coldest, darkest days of winter that spring will come again.

…Don’t go away mad and hold anger in…make peace before the sun goes down or you may not get a chance.

…Each day is a clean slate--what are you going to write on it?

…Negative mind chatter prevents your ability to hear your own knowing…so go to that quiet place within. Ask, be willing to receive and trust what you are given.

…When you begin working save something from every paycheck…and pay yourself first. When you look after the pennies the dollars will eventually look after themselves. Saving for a ‘sunny day’ fun gives a sense of security rather than spending everything you make.

…Think ahead…there are consequences for everything you say and do.

…I don’t mind getting older when I think of the other alternative.

…Winkles…I don’t care about them because they show that I’ve lived, loved, cried, smiled and laughed.

…When you value something in who others are...or what they do…don’t be shy. Make a point of telling them. Life is made up of experiences and events that create who we are and what we become. Do your best to make the ripples positive because we may never pass this way again.

…When things feel overwhelming with no way out hold on to the fact that God is always there. Ask and you shall receive the answers you seek and trust that the light will shine through the shadows…because it always does. I know that as surely as day follows night and the sun comes out after it rains.