RESPONSIBLE CHOICE-MAKING

Whenever David and I are in private or group life coaching sessions the idea of responsible choice making always comes up.  Oftentimes  people to think of responsibility in terms of whom they are responsible to or what they are responsible for. They state that responsibility involves being a 'responsible person.' Their understanding of responsibility is focused on their work, being a good parent, friend, worker or whatever else they think defines their levels of responsibility. Unarguably that is definitely one aspect of it.

By now some of you have figured out that I also like to look at things from of course...another
perspective and here we go again. When you look at the work responsibility it breaks down to...response---ability. If you switch those to words around you have within it the idea that we have the ability...to choose our response. In the work we do our goal is to assist others in understanding (and accepting) that behavior is a product of choice...based on values rather than being a product of their conditions or feeling.

The difference in how people respond is affected by whether they choose to be proactive or reactive. Reactive people are much more affected by their environment. For example when
life is going well...the weather is good and interpersonal relationships are running smoothly they feel good. When outward events are troublesome it can affect their attitude and overall performance.

Proactive people do not allow things like the weather, other people's reactions and life circumstances to affect their mood because they are not subordinate to impulses. So I am interested in hearing what responsibility means to you and what you think about the idea that we
may not be able to control what happens to us...but we do have a choice in our 'ability' to respond in whatever way we choose.

I'll close with two quotations that summarize the theme of this topic. Eleanor Roosevelt observed, "No one can hurt you without your consent."
In the words of Gandhi, "They cannot take away your self respect if we do not give it to them."

So our level of responsibility has to be outwardly directed for sure...but when all is said and done it is our willing permission or consent to how we respond to what happens to us far more than the event itself. To me it is important to keep the lessons...but release the experiences and move on. As we change our attitudes and beliefs...we also change our lives.