RESPONSIBLE CHOICE-MAKING

Whenever David and I are in private or group life coaching sessions the idea of responsible choice making always comes up.  Oftentimes  people to think of responsibility in terms of whom they are responsible to or what they are responsible for. They state that responsibility involves being a 'responsible person.' Their understanding of responsibility is focused on their work, being a good parent, friend, worker or whatever else they think defines their levels of responsibility. Unarguably that is definitely one aspect of it.

By now some of you have figured out that I also like to look at things from of course...another
perspective and here we go again. When you look at the work responsibility it breaks down to...response---ability. If you switch those to words around you have within it the idea that we have the ability...to choose our response. In the work we do our goal is to assist others in understanding (and accepting) that behavior is a product of choice...based on values rather than being a product of their conditions or feeling.

The difference in how people respond is affected by whether they choose to be proactive or reactive. Reactive people are much more affected by their environment. For example when
life is going well...the weather is good and interpersonal relationships are running smoothly they feel good. When outward events are troublesome it can affect their attitude and overall performance.

Proactive people do not allow things like the weather, other people's reactions and life circumstances to affect their mood because they are not subordinate to impulses. So I am interested in hearing what responsibility means to you and what you think about the idea that we
may not be able to control what happens to us...but we do have a choice in our 'ability' to respond in whatever way we choose.

I'll close with two quotations that summarize the theme of this topic. Eleanor Roosevelt observed, "No one can hurt you without your consent."
In the words of Gandhi, "They cannot take away your self respect if we do not give it to them."

So our level of responsibility has to be outwardly directed for sure...but when all is said and done it is our willing permission or consent to how we respond to what happens to us far more than the event itself. To me it is important to keep the lessons...but release the experiences and move on. As we change our attitudes and beliefs...we also change our lives.

HEALTHY CHOICE-MAKING FOR HEALTHY LIVING

By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy

Everyone wants independent choice…
whatever that may cost…
and wherever it may lead.

--Fyodor Dostroyevsky

When I began my quest for health and wholeness in the mid-eighties much of what has gained mainstream acceptance was considered ‘fringe new age thinking” and viewed with suspicion or flatly rejected. When David and I met in 1990 I made his head spin with my concern about the free radicals and high glycimic factor in his diet. I rambled on about that and the importance of low fat, moderate carbohydrate diet and using food combining as a way to lose weight. He and others patted me on the head and admitted that it all sounded a little too weird for them at the time. Now these ideas have been accepted and utilized by many because they are endorsed by researchers. The growing emphasis on healthy living has created less polarity within formal medicine and complimentary healing systems.

This trend has already started towards more sensitive patient care with a multitude of options that were not available even twenty years ago. The emerging changes in preventative health and wellness techniques can and does compliment today’s precision diagnostic services. Inevitably, professional patronizing, and obscure terminology will give way to cooperative educational approaches, and client-orientated therapies. Future medicine like future world politics, will increasingly acknowledge choice making and empowerment of the individual.

Even before these changes are fully implemented, there is much we can all do to optimize our health. Eating less and eating well are basic premises of preventative self- care. Avoiding the known health hazards of smoking, alcohol, fat, sugar, caffeine, salt and processed foods are another commonsense approach. Breakthroughs in health care reveal that many of the diseases and ailments being treated by symptom relief alone can be readily overcome with social and lifestyle changes.

A long, healthy life is a reasonable expectation under most conditions, and self-reliant health care involves one’s authority over their right to choose what they determine is best for them. As the paradigm of whole-person healing continues to evolve, the knowledge it brings not only liberates it unites people as well. Today personal fitness and healing practices once considered outlandish are gaining mainstream credibility—because they work. Large corporations are underwriting relaxation and stress management courses to reduce employee absenteeism. Insurance companies offer financial incentives to non-smokers and aerobic dancers. Healing in the 21st century will witness the final convergence of science and psychology, body and soul.

As science, medicine, the biology of emotion and thought, humor, health and healing attitudes are promoted as a plausible option to symptom relief, drug therapy, invasive procedures there will be more inclination to become well informed before choosing any course of treatment. New attitudes and modalities provide much hope in the form of simple, yet powerful whole-person self-care systems. They are often equally or more effective than prescriptions and are cost effective, encourage self-responsibility, do no harm, educational, fun and provide positive outcomes! So the good news is…there truly are many ways to achieve health, wholeness and abundant living for those willing to explore options and think outside the box.

WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?

Some time ago my partner David and I watched a documentary about the increasing stupidity within society. Then more recently the movie Idiocracy came out and it is a relief to know that we are not the only ones who are concerned about how increasing numbers of people seem to be making some really stupid choices. Do you people are ignorant, unaware, don’t care…or are those who make stupid choices getting more air time?

Everyday there are more glaring examples of people’s inability to consider the consequences of their behavior. The lack of foresight shows up in everyday life within the political area, entertainment industry and religious leaders and everyday people in everyday events. We cannot overlook the television shows that reveal the dumbest criminals…and CNN’s has Anderson Cooper’s on “What were they thinking?” It shows some stupid people doing some really stupid things. So the question remains…is the interest in stupid behaviors just a trend or is society really ‘dumbing down?”

Some of my other observations about whether people are stupid or don’t care shows up during crazy weather conditions. Too many drivers don’t adjust to road conditions and ‘wham’…another big 'oops' has a wipe-out! Stupid, don’t care, distracted, overworked, stressed out…all of the above? Whatever it is they are up there with those who imbibe and drive. How stupid is that? Do they really think they can break all the rules without consequence? I guess so…especially with the outstanding role models constantly being showcased within the entertainment industry.

Here’s another one. My hubby was visiting a friend in the hospital. While walking down the hall he observed some nurses coming out of a seminar. As one in particular came out the door he heard her mucos-ladden coughing as it echoed down the halls. How stupid does anyone have to be not to realize that spewing her virus or bacterial infection throughout a facility of sick people is not a great idea?

Staying with that theme…then there are those who enthusiastically hug, kiss and hold hands in an intimate sharing moment. Then right afterward they cough, sneeze and pull out a soggy tissue and blow their noses. The final kicker is upon departure they grab a hand or give a final hug before and EVER SO LOVINGLY transfer whatever they had to the very person they claim to care about. Huh? What the heck is that about? If a person really cares they could simply say I’d love to share a hug—but I’m infected and I care too much about you to pass it on.” In my opinion that would be the smart thing to do.

In closing I am not going to claim that I have never made stupid choices or done seemingly stupid things…and there are no failures is you learn something. Maybe stupid is as stupid does when you know better and keep doing it anyway. How about sharing.. do you have any ‘stupid observations' that you'd like to share? Comments anyone?