By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy
Passion keeps one fully present…
so that time becomes a series of mutually exclusive ‘nows.’
--Sue Halpern
From my understanding growing up means settling into some form of employment and eventually losing sight of all the things that were fun and frivolous as kids. That doesn't work for me. The older I get the clearer it becomes that fun, frivolity and spontaneity are not supposed to be abandoned when we 'grow up.' I could never envision myself staying at a job that I didn’t like. I guess I’ve never allowed myself to feel that desperate. In my view life is about learning through experience. It is pretty hard to learn new things if you do the same thing day in day out. At this point in life I prefer quality rather than quantity and although my experiences have shown that I can be happy with a lot less. Less frenetic activities, less spending, less spending of time, energy, money, resources…in general more simplified living. Period!
For years before coming to this epiphany I overextended myself in every area of life. Much of the time I was trying hard to live up to everyone’s expectations but my own, especially in the job market. After spending eight hours a day doing things that didn’t interest me for a number of years I quit. Did that make me irresponsible? In the eyes of some people…absolutely! They could not fathom how I could give up a secure position with benefits to pursue a more creative lifestyle. By that time their opinions did not matter because my decision had become more about the quality of life and personal satisfaction than job security. I was mentally prepared to downsize anything so that I could begin living a better life.
When David and I became life and business partners we continued our risk taking and even though we made a few not-too-great financial choices we had a grand ride while we were doing it. When all is said and done we learned a lot and I probably would do most of it all over again. The greatest benefit from the roller coaster rides of the past is how much I appreciate being in a more stable place today.
Making the decision to live life on your own terms as long as you’re willing to accept the consequences can re-frame the whole question of responsibility and growing up. When other people decide to down-size their lifestyle to pursue a different career path are they less mature--or just inventive? It seems that growing up involves settling into structure and routine and holding on to that security regardless of the toll it takes. Admittedly those patterns are necessary during different phases. Problems arise when the routine becomes so ingrained that spontaneity goes out the window.
Think about the number of young people who are ‘conditioned’ to meet societal and family expectations rather than being encouraged to be whom they are. Budding artists become doctors, lawyers, teachers or anything else that meets authority figure’s expectations. Not that there is anything wrong with that if that is what they want to do. The growing up part is only problematic when those dictates conflict with other innate desires.
As one matures imagination and intuition are sometimes frowned upon by teachers and care-givers. As individuals move through the system there is little encouragement for what a child believes exists within unseen realms. Fairies, gnomes, giants, invisible friends and allies are all dismissed as childhood fantasies that must be put aside by a certain age. Sadly that does not leave much room for an open exploration into the wealth of mystical teachings that have been around much longer than conventional thinking in modern society. In many cultures a belief in an energetic connection to the unseen is what defines their spirituality.
Yet even in the face of all the nay-sayers years research has finally created a return to the validity of the power of imagination and visualization. Lo and behold there is now greater acceptance that the mind and body cannot distinguish between physical events and visual enactments. The responses are the same. So why do adults limit their intuitive knowing as they grow up? My guess is somewhere along the line enough people dissuaded them and they bought into it. After all they are bigger and wiser—or are they?
Part of part of the fun of being a pre-schooler is that there are no solid time-frames about how and when you should do things--well except bed-time. Too bad we are not encouraged to maintain some of those youthful ways as we age. I felt so strongly about this that David and I developed a course for Creative Retirement Manitoba called ‘youthing versus ageing.’ The mature adults who participated clearly confirmed that one never truly ages if they continue to approach life in an atmosphere of exploration, intuition and imagination. The way I see it those ageless wonders have got it aced by refusing to allow others to tell them they are too old to be doing anything. The are too busy living their best life by staying fit, strong, and flexible in mind, spirit and body and living in the ‘now-ness’ of their experiences
After years of working with people at different stages of life I have seen how some have an ageless quality about them no matter how many times they've been around the sun. Then there are others--young ones who seem old and jaded before their time. Those glaring differences prompted me to navigate the landscape of my inner world and I finally made a decision not to ‘grow up.’ Not if it requires settling into stereotypical frameworks that dictate how to look, act and dress at any particular age. I intend to show respect for differences...but I am far enough along the path that I refuse to imprison by the opinions of others when they don’t work for me.
Maybe if enough people do it we’ll start a trend and if we do I bet we’ll start see happier, fulfilled people of all ages…and wouldn’t that be a pleasant change? . Doing things on the spur of the moment keeps things fresh. Life is too short to allow it to become routine and ordinary. David and I live by the credo…you are only young once but if you allow yourself---you can be a kid forever!
Passion keeps one fully present…
so that time becomes a series of mutually exclusive ‘nows.’
--Sue Halpern
From my understanding growing up means settling into some form of employment and eventually losing sight of all the things that were fun and frivolous as kids. That doesn't work for me. The older I get the clearer it becomes that fun, frivolity and spontaneity are not supposed to be abandoned when we 'grow up.' I could never envision myself staying at a job that I didn’t like. I guess I’ve never allowed myself to feel that desperate. In my view life is about learning through experience. It is pretty hard to learn new things if you do the same thing day in day out. At this point in life I prefer quality rather than quantity and although my experiences have shown that I can be happy with a lot less. Less frenetic activities, less spending, less spending of time, energy, money, resources…in general more simplified living. Period!
For years before coming to this epiphany I overextended myself in every area of life. Much of the time I was trying hard to live up to everyone’s expectations but my own, especially in the job market. After spending eight hours a day doing things that didn’t interest me for a number of years I quit. Did that make me irresponsible? In the eyes of some people…absolutely! They could not fathom how I could give up a secure position with benefits to pursue a more creative lifestyle. By that time their opinions did not matter because my decision had become more about the quality of life and personal satisfaction than job security. I was mentally prepared to downsize anything so that I could begin living a better life.
When David and I became life and business partners we continued our risk taking and even though we made a few not-too-great financial choices we had a grand ride while we were doing it. When all is said and done we learned a lot and I probably would do most of it all over again. The greatest benefit from the roller coaster rides of the past is how much I appreciate being in a more stable place today.
Making the decision to live life on your own terms as long as you’re willing to accept the consequences can re-frame the whole question of responsibility and growing up. When other people decide to down-size their lifestyle to pursue a different career path are they less mature--or just inventive? It seems that growing up involves settling into structure and routine and holding on to that security regardless of the toll it takes. Admittedly those patterns are necessary during different phases. Problems arise when the routine becomes so ingrained that spontaneity goes out the window.
Think about the number of young people who are ‘conditioned’ to meet societal and family expectations rather than being encouraged to be whom they are. Budding artists become doctors, lawyers, teachers or anything else that meets authority figure’s expectations. Not that there is anything wrong with that if that is what they want to do. The growing up part is only problematic when those dictates conflict with other innate desires.
As one matures imagination and intuition are sometimes frowned upon by teachers and care-givers. As individuals move through the system there is little encouragement for what a child believes exists within unseen realms. Fairies, gnomes, giants, invisible friends and allies are all dismissed as childhood fantasies that must be put aside by a certain age. Sadly that does not leave much room for an open exploration into the wealth of mystical teachings that have been around much longer than conventional thinking in modern society. In many cultures a belief in an energetic connection to the unseen is what defines their spirituality.
Yet even in the face of all the nay-sayers years research has finally created a return to the validity of the power of imagination and visualization. Lo and behold there is now greater acceptance that the mind and body cannot distinguish between physical events and visual enactments. The responses are the same. So why do adults limit their intuitive knowing as they grow up? My guess is somewhere along the line enough people dissuaded them and they bought into it. After all they are bigger and wiser—or are they?
Part of part of the fun of being a pre-schooler is that there are no solid time-frames about how and when you should do things--well except bed-time. Too bad we are not encouraged to maintain some of those youthful ways as we age. I felt so strongly about this that David and I developed a course for Creative Retirement Manitoba called ‘youthing versus ageing.’ The mature adults who participated clearly confirmed that one never truly ages if they continue to approach life in an atmosphere of exploration, intuition and imagination. The way I see it those ageless wonders have got it aced by refusing to allow others to tell them they are too old to be doing anything. The are too busy living their best life by staying fit, strong, and flexible in mind, spirit and body and living in the ‘now-ness’ of their experiences
After years of working with people at different stages of life I have seen how some have an ageless quality about them no matter how many times they've been around the sun. Then there are others--young ones who seem old and jaded before their time. Those glaring differences prompted me to navigate the landscape of my inner world and I finally made a decision not to ‘grow up.’ Not if it requires settling into stereotypical frameworks that dictate how to look, act and dress at any particular age. I intend to show respect for differences...but I am far enough along the path that I refuse to imprison by the opinions of others when they don’t work for me.
Maybe if enough people do it we’ll start a trend and if we do I bet we’ll start see happier, fulfilled people of all ages…and wouldn’t that be a pleasant change? . Doing things on the spur of the moment keeps things fresh. Life is too short to allow it to become routine and ordinary. David and I live by the credo…you are only young once but if you allow yourself---you can be a kid forever!
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