By Coralie Darsey-Malloy
The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.
--Pierre Cornelle
As year 2007 winds down and early signs of Christmas begin to show up in retail outlets I am beginning to feel ambivalence about the holidays this year. Christmas was always a momentous event in our family. Mom was born on Christmas Day, her brother on Christmas Eve—and I came in on New Year’s Eve. So needless to say celebrating the holidays with gusto was something mom started early in life. But this year a significant part of what made it special will be missing because mom passed away in April. With no kids of our own my husband David and I have been discussing ways to make this Christmas memorable as we hold on to mom’s legacy without her being a part of it all.
The one thing that will remain is the appreciation I feel for what she instilled in me about what gives meaning to life. Her way of counting blessings was referred to as attitude of gratitude. It is something that seems less prevalent than in the past. In conversations with others I am not the only one who is noticing that meaningful exchanges between people are less prevalent than they once were. This is especially so around the holiday season. The third week in December is considered a time of spiritual significance in many faiths whether Christian, Jewish or even those who commemorate the winter Equinox. As one year ends and other begins many across the planet come together to reflect about the past year and what possibilities lay ahead in the coming year. Within the rituals there is the joy of fellowship with friends, family and other loved ones…and it is all expressed within an attitude of gratitude. Right? Think again.
Mom always reminded me that the true value within any gift was determined by how much love and thought went into it—not the material cost. When I listen to how many shop with a different value system it doesn’t appear that gifts are given or received with that approach. No—these days it appears to be more about a numbers game. How much ‘cha-ching and bling” seems to be where the value is these days. With so much emphasis on the material rather than the spiritual those on the receiving end often take the massive spending for granted and through time gifts mean less. Watching customer services lines after Christmas is a big clue for me that many people are not buying gifts with the recipient in mind—or why would so many people return them? Perhaps there would be greater appreciation for the good in life if we slowed down and re-prioritized what really matters. It took me a long time for me to figure that one out—but as I am feeling less rushed things have a deeper significance than ever before.
Then there is the whole question of exchanging cards. Various postal outlets report that each year less come through the mail each year. That saddens me. What does it say about the pace of life if it is too hectic to set a few hours and pen a few words on a card? Sure stamps are getting more expensive—but how many cups of coffee would anyone have to give up covering the cost? Is it too much to let someone know that their presence in life is appreciated? Granted, some do make time to send out a mass e-mail or newsletter and that is one option. Better that then not doing anything at all. But is it just me—or are there others out there who think that nothing beats going to pick up mail on a frosty morning and discovering that someone you haven’t heard from in awhile is thinking about you and yours?
I enjoy scrap-booking and every card received is lovingly placed in my books. When I look back and re-read a card from a kindred spirit (for any occasion) the messages conveyed are warm fuzzies that keeps on giving. I feel the same way about hand-written notes. When someone is going through rough times a ‘thinking of you card’ goes a long way to brightening their day. Same thing goes for notes of appreciation sent for someone’s hospitality, or gifts received. Of course there are the other transitions we all go through, birthdays, deaths, weddings, anniversaries and anything else that is a right of passage.
In my opinion nothing is more meaningful than a handwritten note expressing an attitude of gratitude. I do hope this delightful way of letting others know that that who they are and what they do is appreciated. It is a simple thing, but in the increasing pace of society it is all too easy to take the good things for granted. Yet pausing for a moment and expressing appreciation adds much to the quality of life for both the giver and receiver. I am already beginning to prepare our holiday newsletter and doing Xmas shopping with all the thoughtful consideration I learned from Mom. Getting things done ahead of time gives me time to reflect on how much good there is in life amidst the global chaos and conflict. Within all of it there is still much to be grateful for if we only open our eyes to see it—and of course say it!
Works for me!
The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.
--Pierre Cornelle
As year 2007 winds down and early signs of Christmas begin to show up in retail outlets I am beginning to feel ambivalence about the holidays this year. Christmas was always a momentous event in our family. Mom was born on Christmas Day, her brother on Christmas Eve—and I came in on New Year’s Eve. So needless to say celebrating the holidays with gusto was something mom started early in life. But this year a significant part of what made it special will be missing because mom passed away in April. With no kids of our own my husband David and I have been discussing ways to make this Christmas memorable as we hold on to mom’s legacy without her being a part of it all.
The one thing that will remain is the appreciation I feel for what she instilled in me about what gives meaning to life. Her way of counting blessings was referred to as attitude of gratitude. It is something that seems less prevalent than in the past. In conversations with others I am not the only one who is noticing that meaningful exchanges between people are less prevalent than they once were. This is especially so around the holiday season. The third week in December is considered a time of spiritual significance in many faiths whether Christian, Jewish or even those who commemorate the winter Equinox. As one year ends and other begins many across the planet come together to reflect about the past year and what possibilities lay ahead in the coming year. Within the rituals there is the joy of fellowship with friends, family and other loved ones…and it is all expressed within an attitude of gratitude. Right? Think again.
Mom always reminded me that the true value within any gift was determined by how much love and thought went into it—not the material cost. When I listen to how many shop with a different value system it doesn’t appear that gifts are given or received with that approach. No—these days it appears to be more about a numbers game. How much ‘cha-ching and bling” seems to be where the value is these days. With so much emphasis on the material rather than the spiritual those on the receiving end often take the massive spending for granted and through time gifts mean less. Watching customer services lines after Christmas is a big clue for me that many people are not buying gifts with the recipient in mind—or why would so many people return them? Perhaps there would be greater appreciation for the good in life if we slowed down and re-prioritized what really matters. It took me a long time for me to figure that one out—but as I am feeling less rushed things have a deeper significance than ever before.
Then there is the whole question of exchanging cards. Various postal outlets report that each year less come through the mail each year. That saddens me. What does it say about the pace of life if it is too hectic to set a few hours and pen a few words on a card? Sure stamps are getting more expensive—but how many cups of coffee would anyone have to give up covering the cost? Is it too much to let someone know that their presence in life is appreciated? Granted, some do make time to send out a mass e-mail or newsletter and that is one option. Better that then not doing anything at all. But is it just me—or are there others out there who think that nothing beats going to pick up mail on a frosty morning and discovering that someone you haven’t heard from in awhile is thinking about you and yours?
I enjoy scrap-booking and every card received is lovingly placed in my books. When I look back and re-read a card from a kindred spirit (for any occasion) the messages conveyed are warm fuzzies that keeps on giving. I feel the same way about hand-written notes. When someone is going through rough times a ‘thinking of you card’ goes a long way to brightening their day. Same thing goes for notes of appreciation sent for someone’s hospitality, or gifts received. Of course there are the other transitions we all go through, birthdays, deaths, weddings, anniversaries and anything else that is a right of passage.
In my opinion nothing is more meaningful than a handwritten note expressing an attitude of gratitude. I do hope this delightful way of letting others know that that who they are and what they do is appreciated. It is a simple thing, but in the increasing pace of society it is all too easy to take the good things for granted. Yet pausing for a moment and expressing appreciation adds much to the quality of life for both the giver and receiver. I am already beginning to prepare our holiday newsletter and doing Xmas shopping with all the thoughtful consideration I learned from Mom. Getting things done ahead of time gives me time to reflect on how much good there is in life amidst the global chaos and conflict. Within all of it there is still much to be grateful for if we only open our eyes to see it—and of course say it!
Works for me!
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