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Saturday, March 5, 2011

AN INTRODUCTION TO THE SELF-HEALING TECHNIQUE CALLED EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE (EFT)

David and I were first introduced to EFT by a friend a number of years ago. We use it on ourselves and have shared this remarkable self-healing method with clients and they have received the same benefits we enjoy. There are times we use it less and periods we use it more but whatever we are wanting to "clear" and release we find EFT does it.
We know a number of friends here are struggling with a variety of personal, health and financial concerns and we wanted to set a group up that will inform others of the wonderful shifts that occur when people use the emotional freedom techniques on a regular basis. 
 
One needs to be realistic and know that we heal in the reverse order of the illness, imbalance or disorder so consistency is key to achieving desired outcomes. For those who are already aware of EFT and practice it please set up your own discussions sharing your experiences and allowing others to ask questions.

What is EFT?

EFT is a powerful new discovery that combines two well established sciences so you can benefit from both at the same time:

  1. Mind Body Medicine
  2. Acupuncture (without needles).

In essence, EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture wherein we stimulate certain meridian points by tapping on them with our fingertips. This addresses a new cause for
emotional issues (unbalanced energy meridians). Properly done, this frequently reduces
the therapeutic process from months or years down to hours or minutes
. And,
since emotional stress can contribute to pain, disease and physical ailments,
we often find that EFT provides astonishing physical relief.



  • Try it yourself by  It gives you all the basics and allows you to test drive EFT on your own issues (although at a beginner's level). If you wish
    to save time and dive right in you can 
    They will take you from Beginner’s level all the way
    to Mastery. Interestingly, this process is so easy to use that no previous
    training is required. Caveat: For people who are emotionally or physically
    frail, qualified health professionals should be consulted before using ANY
    health procedure.
  • Peruse the many studies and experiments on our 
  • EFT's possibilities are experienced by those who try it and use it regularily.  already been There are a  wide variety of successes. This is why I tell clients to , "Try it on everything." It is as close to a Universal Healing Aid as anything I've seen.

More benefits...

  • You can make enormous strides by introducing EFT into your emotional therapy process (whether you are a professional or a client). Instead of taking months or years using conventional "talk
    therapy," EFT often does the job for you cleanly and thoroughly in
    one or two sessions
    ... and we sometimes achieve noticeable results in
    a few brief rounds of EFT. We label these near-instant results as
    "one minute wonders."
  • Once you have seen how well EFT clears out emotional debris, your next step is to notice how physical ailments start to fade. Headaches, back pains and other discomforts often tend to improve or
    vanish as emotional issues improve (this is the essence of Mind Body
    Medicine). Your vision may become clearer and everyday stress may take
    less toll on your system.
  • Accordingly, you can apply it to just about everything. That is one of the most astonishing things about it. You use the same basic procedure for your fear of public speaking as you do for improving
    your golf score. You can also use it for everything from the common
    cold to multiple sclerosis
    (consult your physician, of course).
    Further, we have had reported successes for nearly every emotional issue
    on the books...including fear, trauma, depression, grief and
    schizophrenia. Some consider it the missing link in the pursuit of health
    and happiness.

Possible EFT limitations

I'm not saying here that EFT is perfect. We don't get 100%. But it usually works well and the results are sometimes spectacular. Because of its unique approach, it can work where
nothing else does and, to many, it represents a Doorway to a new Healing
High-Rise.

You will find that EFT is usually quite gentle and you can often achieve substantial relief with little or no pain. This is not true for everyone, however. Some people's issues are so
intense that the mere mention of them causes emotional or physical pain. But,
given time, even these may be resolved efficiently with EFT.

A small percentage of our population (best estimate is less than 3%) have serious emotional and physical disabilities and thus newcomers to EFT are advised to exercise common sense in
this regard. While you can use EFT to generate impressive relief for many
people, please consult qualified health practitioners where appropriate and
don't go where you aren't qualified.

About Gary Craig

Here is information about Gary Craig the founder of the EFT Movement  his own words: Please know that I am neither a psychologist nor a licensed therapist. Rather, I am a Stanford engineering graduate and an ordained minister and, although we don't pound the table for God here, I do
come at this procedure from a decidedly spiritual perspective.

My ordained ministry is with the Universal Church of God in Southern California which is non-denominational and embraces all religions. I am an avid student of A Course In Miracles but at no
time is any EFT'er asked to follow any specific spiritual teaching.

Other details: I was born April 13, 1940 and have been intensely interested in personal improvement via psychology since my age13. That was when I recognized that the quality of my thoughts was mirrored in the quality of my
life. Since then I have been self taught in this field, seeking only those
procedures that, in my opinion, produced results. EFT is my latest finding, the
core of which I learned from Dr. Roger Callahan. I also have high regard for
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) in which I am a Certified Master
Practitioner.
Gary Craig decided to step down and close his site in January of this year because he feel the EFT Movement has its lets and there are enough people practicing and promoting it that he can step down and allow others to carry the torch from now on. His goal was to provide a natural way for people to be able to heal their lives without any financial cost.

Here are some photos of the basic "tapping" positions to stimulate the energy and meridian points within the body.

ANOTHER SIDE TO THE BENEFITS OF VEGAN AND VEGETARIAN DIETS

In my personal and professional experience I have come to the conclusion that  vegan and vegetarian diets are not for everyone.  As a reporter it is my job to gather the facts, keep personal bias sout of the copy...and let the readership decide for themselves. I decided to post this discussion after writing  an article for my column on the many health benefits of bison meat.

Oddly enough one of the editors is a Vegan and he did everything in his power to keep my article from running...because of his personal bias and activism in the animal rights movement. In good journalistic form the board out-voted him and my article came out in the June edition of The Aquarian paper where I have a column called Perspectives on Healthy Living.

The vegan/vegetarian band-wagan is rolling along...and many more are climbing on it. Consequently there is a lot of erroneous, misleading information floating around out there.  I recently responded to a discussion where a vegan is accusing people who claim to love animals and still eat meat of hypocrites...and even immoral. I donot agree with that position at all, but that is a whole other discussion and maybe one I will post at another time.

As a life coach in the health and wellness field I know from working in cooperation with a variety of health and medical practitioners that many vegans and vegetarians are unaware that their diets do not provide enough B12 unless they supplement. Red meat, chicken, turkey and salmon, bison/buffalo meat are among the best sources of B12 and iron. Even with proper food combining many vegetarian diets do not provide adequate amounts of these nutrients. If someone is deficient in  B12 they may not know it until they are diagnosed. If left untreated it can cause irreversible neurological damage. This is information that many are not privy to and one of the reasons I am opening this topic for discussion.

Even well informed vegan websites have alluded to this fact. Check out http://www.veganhealth.org/b12/intro for more information. Some claim that were never meant to eat meat...but our teeth indicate that our bodies were designed to eat both. I also find that odd being that the order of the universe has natural checks and balances within predation...(predator and prey). As one among many along the food chain...doesn't it seem odd that humans would be the only ones who do not fit into that order of things? Also if we were meant to live on a vegetarian diet...why do deficiencies develop on that eating plan...that do not occur when adequate protein from animal sources are consumed?

The complexity of amino acids and proper assimilation of proteins is another reason some people end up with deficiencies on vegan/vegetarian diets. Some of my clients
could not break down the grains, are allergic to the gluten  and could
not digest soybeans and/or tofu. The vegetarian diets they were on did not promote health...but deteriorated it. Once they included moderate amounts of lean protein in their diet their symptoms were gone. There is growing concern about the amount of soy products consumers are ingesting and how they are having a less than positive impact on the hormonal balance within the body.


It is important to understand that I am not saying that anyone should/or should not be a vegetarian...or should/or should not eat meat. All I am doing is offering another perspective...and you can source out your own information and decide what is right for you.

In my view it has nothing to do with morality and health involves  knowing what our bodies  need  to go beyond surviving...towards thriving! Do what works for you is the approach I take with most everything in life....because everyone has an opinion...or a judgment...and who is right or wrong...well even that is just an opinion!!!

Just for the record I was a vegetarian for years. Through time I lost muscle tone, became anemic and was told by the Naturopath who  became my mentor...that I could stick to my ideals...or choose to add animal protein to my diet and regain my health. I decided to follow his guidance...and I am healthier as I age...than I ever was in my vegetarian youth.

So if I say that I eat some meat because it supports my body...and I do love animals. Does that make me a hypocrite? From the last post I responded she would say yes. Well, everyone is entitled to their own viewpoint.

I have included a photo of just one of many domesticated animals in the farming area where we live. Even though some animals are abused...many are not. The prevailing view of most of the farmers I have interviewed in this area is this..."Farming is a business...if we do not take good care of our animals...and the land...we will go out of business." Something many who are not exposed to rural, farm life do not understand...or even care to investigate. As I have said there is a lot of misinformation out there and making smart choices involves gathering information and looking at both sides of any issue. 

RESPONSIBLE CHOICE-MAKING

Whenever David and I are in private or group life coaching sessions the idea of responsible choice making always comes up.  Oftentimes  people to think of responsibility in terms of whom they are responsible to or what they are responsible for. They state that responsibility involves being a 'responsible person.' Their understanding of responsibility is focused on their work, being a good parent, friend, worker or whatever else they think defines their levels of responsibility. Unarguably that is definitely one aspect of it.

By now some of you have figured out that I also like to look at things from of course...another
perspective and here we go again. When you look at the work responsibility it breaks down to...response---ability. If you switch those to words around you have within it the idea that we have the ability...to choose our response. In the work we do our goal is to assist others in understanding (and accepting) that behavior is a product of choice...based on values rather than being a product of their conditions or feeling.

The difference in how people respond is affected by whether they choose to be proactive or reactive. Reactive people are much more affected by their environment. For example when
life is going well...the weather is good and interpersonal relationships are running smoothly they feel good. When outward events are troublesome it can affect their attitude and overall performance.

Proactive people do not allow things like the weather, other people's reactions and life circumstances to affect their mood because they are not subordinate to impulses. So I am interested in hearing what responsibility means to you and what you think about the idea that we
may not be able to control what happens to us...but we do have a choice in our 'ability' to respond in whatever way we choose.

I'll close with two quotations that summarize the theme of this topic. Eleanor Roosevelt observed, "No one can hurt you without your consent."
In the words of Gandhi, "They cannot take away your self respect if we do not give it to them."

So our level of responsibility has to be outwardly directed for sure...but when all is said and done it is our willing permission or consent to how we respond to what happens to us far more than the event itself. To me it is important to keep the lessons...but release the experiences and move on. As we change our attitudes and beliefs...we also change our lives.

APPRECIATING THE MANY GIFTS WITHIN OUR SIMPLE ABUNDANCE

David and I were watching an episode of the television series "Saving Grace." Grace has a guardian angel and  each week there are some moving scenes about the complexities of her life as a cop and the moral and value judgments she has to make as her Angel assists her on her life path.

This week Grace had to say goodbye to her beloved Aboriginal grandfather. During the last couple of days of his life she took him out of the hospital to the place he wanted to make his transition. As they sat out in nature she thanked him for all the lessons he had taught her and then they sat and looked around at the many blessings within the natural world. Her grandfather said in a quiet voice; "How can anyone look at the sky, the earth and feel the unlimited abundance that Source provides for us and doubt the existence of a Divine Source? That statement is something that my mother instilled in me from and early age and it is something that I am mindful of every day.

As David and I love working in the garden. Each time we are out there we're reminded  why this hobby is such a passion for both of us. We are out in the natural world enjoying life in the rolling hills of the Pembina Vallley. The birds and butterflies flutter by as we dig, plant as we  observe all the perennials and shrubs returning to add so much to our lives for another season.

Yesterday we had spats of rain between sunny periods and the ions in the air combined with fresh rain filled the air with the most luscious scents of lilacs and other flowers and shrubs that are blooming right now and my nostrils were filled with the magnificence of it all.

On the way back from Winnipeg we saw a dragon in the clouds and then as the sun set on the gently twirling windmills I asked David to stop so I could experience the night sky and sounds and capture the moment with my camera.

Yesterday a butterfly landed on the upper deck and it is a reminder that loved ones who have transitioned are flying high with their own wings in the next realm and it is a comfort to me to know that life is eternal and that we are all united within the Oneness.

So my friends...these are just a few of the many gifts of life that i appreciate as we begin another week. I hope you will find many along your path in the coming weeks, months and years. I have included some photos of the gifts David and I have received this week alone.

The more I keep my mind, heart, eyes and ears open the greater my gratitude becomes for blessings great and small.

Here are some of the photos of life's gifts:

Our garden as summer unfolds:


The lilac bush we planted in memory of Mom when she passed 5 years ago...it is pink..her favorite color and every year I am reminded that life goes on and that there is no death...only other realms.


This was the first butterfly of the season on our upper screened area:


A young robin watching from the hydro lines above,

The dragon image in the clouds:

Serene settings at the end of day:


INSPIRATONAL POEM BY ORIAH FROM HER BOOK THE INVITATION

This is a beautiful and inspiring reminder about loving and living from heart-centered awareness  It is a wonderful reminder about how to keep our priorities straight during the holiday season.
by Oriah from her book THE INVITATION

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."

TAKING MULTI-TASKING TO A NEW LEVEL

In some of my previous posts I have fessed up to the fact that David and I have been spending some time on Facebook and expanding our network over there. We have had some new members join us from FB and I hope we will continue to have more.

I set up five fan pages there...two for our forums, one for my book and another to promote the Manitoba Chapter of the White Ribbon Campaign. While we were scouting around that forum David and I discovered a few games we enjoy playing.

When  a close friend  got sick and passed away David and I processed our grief but also used our professional life to keep life in balance.   Now that everything has returned to a more normal pace David decided that I could have the best of all worlds by gifting me with a netbook and up-grading my laptop. Now I sit in my office listening to brain-sync CD's, with my two monitors, the laptop to my left and the net-book on the right and I am able to key  and picki up emails on the second monitor.

I am having a blast and feel happy to be taking my multi-tasking skills to a while new level while feeling grounded, calm, happy and creatively satisfying with the cats dozing around me in the two big chairs and our dog Tashkie coming up for play time and snooze time as she feels like it. The calming tones of the brain wave music and vibrations keep my body relaxed and my brain clear.

So friends, I am ready and able to enjoy the best of my interests and friendships and plan to be around more now I can do so much more.

Here are some photos to show you my office and how it is  setup.



HOW ABOUT CREATING A CONSPIRACY OF LOVE AS WE HEAD TOWARDS 2012?

We are also extremely optimistic that even with the global economic climate that there is a true "conspiracy of love."  There is a movement within the Universe that is resonating a message of love, hope, respect for differences, unity, peace, compassion and hope that is not showing up in mainstream media. 
We are choosing to believe that as we head towards 2012  that there is a spiritual movement that is leading us towards cooperation, consensus and unity. There are  whole new world because of the many Light-Workers and Way-Showers who are making a difference that we can feel even when others cannot see it...YET!
So as we continue our journeys around the sun in the coming years may we  move away from duality and polarity with respect for differences and a celebration of our Oneness.
L(¨`•.•´¨) May love shine in your heart and lift you high
O`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) To soar like an eagle and touch the sky!
V¨`•.•´¨)¸.•´ There are no limits to how high we can fly
E`•.¸.•´ As we release it all to soar into the sky!

 (¯`v´¯) Thank you so very much for connecting with your beautiful resonant soul.
♥. `•.¸.•´ ♥ ԼƠƔЄ
♥¸¸.•´*`•.¸¸♥¸¸.•´*`•₪✯♥
╔═════════ ೋღ❤ღೋ═════════╗
◊ ೋ ❤❤❤ LOTS OF LOVE ❤❤❤
ೋ ◊

GOAL SETTING AND GOAL GETTING WITH THE DIAC MODEL

This is a copy of the an article from my column Perspectives on Healthy Living.  It has been reprinted her with permission from the Aquarian newspaper.

Hope gives wings to our dreams – but it is action that makes them come true.

Some say that the greatest enemy of action is the lack of a plan. But it can also be said that the greatest enemy of a plan is lack of action. Goals become merely wishful thinking unless you further define them as objectives with specific measurements and act upon them.

Within the models my husband David Malloy and I use in our life coaching sessions, we define goals as an intended outcome that requires action and satisfies needs.
If goal is not the preferred word of choice it can be substituted with objective, target, performance, outcome, vision or mission. All these terms represent a desired outcome.
Goals are formed by a process of questions and internal dialogue. 
We are constantly scanning the world around us to try and understand how things work and from there we decide on a chosen objective. We help our clients discern between their needs (which impact on the quality of life) and their wants (which are in the “nice to have” category).
Once clients decide that something is desirable, they also have to assess whether it is possible to attain.
As a life coach, I consistently work with clients who find it difficult to achieve success in some areas. Consequently, David and I developed a simple but effective equation called the DIAC Model to assist clients in meeting their objectives.

The DIAC Model gets you moving
Desire + Intent + ACTION = Change. This is a proven and practical way of setting and achieving goals. The desire can be anything ¬– from a wish to a resolution. When there is a clear intention coupled with a plan of action, changes occur. Without the action part of the equation, goals are rarely achieved.
Let’s use the example of a desire to improve physical fitness.

Desire: To get in shape.

Intent: Options are considered and the decision is made to purchase exercise equipment for the home or to join a gym. Coming up with a weekly schedule of exercise augments the intention. This is an example of how desire and intention are coupled.
The intention has some action within it and fuels the desire to reach the goal but it is not enough. If that were all it took to get in shape, the home equipment would not end up being used as a clothes rack. And deciding to go to a gym is not enough either. Some fitness facilities count on the fact that a high percentage of their clientele will quit within short order.

Action: This is the challenging aspect of the DIAC model yet it is the key that opens the door to change. If you do not follow your objectives through to completion then it is time to do some self-questioning and examine which part of the DIAC model is weak – desire or intent.
We tend to make time for what is important, be it family, work, interests and hobbies –so if we don’t make time for our goals, we have to look at the emotional resistance. We can use journaling or talking to friends about our resistance or we may choose to air things out with a counselor. If the goal is important, it’s worth the extra time, energy and resources to achieve it.

Change: The DIAC model can be applied to anything on your goal-setting/goal-getting agenda. Whether we call them goals or resolutions, the desire is the easy part. Intention adds energy to the desire and with a realistic action plan that is maintained, it is likely that your goals will come to fruition.

Tips on how to decide your goals
One suggestion is to sit down and write your own obituary as you would like it to be. This can be an effective way of prioritizing goals and achieving them.
The movie Bucket List holds appeal because the story shows how elderly friends decided to make a list of one hundred things they intended to do before they “kicked the bucket.” I often suggest that clients watch that movie to jump-start their goal planning – and it works!
It is important to use discernment in setting goals by not aiming too low or too high. You can always raise your expectations as you go along. Often the decision is based on self-image and can be influenced by the perceptions of others.

Ways to overcome resistance and move beyond the comfort zone
When we use the DIAC Model in private or group life-coaching sessions, clients frequently bump into patterns of resistance and make excuses not to continue with their action plan.
Some of the underlying reasons may be:
Emotional Safety. How will people react and can I handle their reactions if I do or do not succeed?
Belonging. Will I still feel like I belong and what will I do if I don’t?
Self-esteem/Self-Worth. Do I deserve this? Will my social status change? Will I have more or less influence?
Identity. If I have defined myself as being one way, can I accept the new “definers” that the achievement of this goal will bring?

There are many ways to uncover underlying patterns of resistance.
Here is the Yes/No exercise for you to try when you feel stuck:
Write: I want to do (goal) but I can’t because 1. _______. The next step involves saying the positive part either aloud or silently then writing down a second excuse. Repeat the process to get as close to 20 excuses as possible. Aim for quantity of excuses rather than quality. Although this sounds odd, it helps your resistance come to the surface more easily. When you evaluate your excuses, you can see how many are emotional inhibitions and how many are practical (like I need more information to do a certain thing). Also, look at your last excuse. Often this is what is really holding you back.

As you reference back to the DIAC Model, it becomes easier to assess whether short-term things that feel urgent are taking priority over your long-term goals. Yes, short-term goals may relieve short-term pressure but if they divert attention away from the action part of the model, they will interfere with the achievement of the larger objective.

It is important to remember that achieving goals is one of the key ways to feel good and improve our sense of self. The same feel-good emotions arise when we anticipate that we will hit the mark with our chosen target. Anticipation is a good thing because it is a natural motivator as we envision the changes we expect to achieve.

With the combination of desire and intention, plus a solid and realistic plan of action – positive life-affirming changes can and do happen. Think DIAC; enjoy success.

Coralie Darsey-Malloy is a freelance writer, author, life coach, seminar leader and public speaker. For more information check out her Fresh Beginnings website at www.fresh-beginnings.com or call (204) 242-3373.


A VIDEO I CREATED TO CELEBRATE SHREK AND COMPANY

I LOVE SHREK AND COMPANY!

THE SHOE-BOX..A TOUCHING STORY ABOUT TIMELESS LOVE

THE SHOEBOX
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little
Old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had
Cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but
One day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said
She would not recover.


In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took
Down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was
In the box. When he opened it, he found two knitted dolls
And a stack of money totaling $95,000.


He asked her about the contents.

'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me
The secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that
If I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and knit a doll.'


The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
Precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two
Times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
Happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?'


'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'



A Prayer.......
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death,

Because I don't have time to knit!

THE BIOLOGY OF HUGGING

In our work as life coaches and group leaders David and I write produce and present a variety of dynamic, healthy, spiritual living seminars in the "self-health" field.

One of the courses we really enjoy presenting is Humor, Health and Healing Attitudes. While doing research on the biology of emotions I discovered that there is a biology within hugs and touch. When we hug each other or our pets there are specially healing responses that the body experiences that improve our health and well-being.

Some may say that this hug group is to share graphics...but those of us who live and have our being within energy-based awareness know that the warm fuzzies we experience from loving exchanges with our on-line friends has a similar effect. If we did not have feel good moments within the communities we build on line I doubt if there would be the desire to participate and connect the way we do.

So Gaby I send big kudos to you for creating groups like this one so we can drop by and give and receive energetic hugs from each other any time we feel like it. I am deeply appreciative.

So anyone up for a big, loving group hug. I sure am!


In our work as life coaches and group leaders David and I write produce and present a variety of dynamic, healthy, spiritual living seminars in the "self-health" field.

One of the courses we really enjoy presenting is Humor, Health and Healing Attitudes. While doing research on the biology of emotions I discovered that there is a biology within hugs and touch. When we hug each other or our pets there are specially healing responses that the body experiences that improve our health and well-being.

those of us who live and have our being within energy-based awareness know that the warm fuzzies we experience from loving exchanges with our on-line friends has a similar effect. If we did not have feel good moments within the communities we build on line I doubt if there would be the desire to participate and connect the way we do.

So anyone up for a big, loving group hug. I sure am!

LIVING AN AUTHENTIC LIFE

By Coralie  Darsey-Malloy

You cannot find yourself until you face the truth.

--Pearl Baily

This concept is something that has become central to how I endeavor to live. I began a spiritual quest to discover my own truth after growing up in
a family where nothing was ever as it appeared. My father's alcoholism
and my mother's enabling created a quagmire of inconsistencies within
our family's inner and outer worlds. Within the seeming 'dysfunction'
of my earlier years I have learned that it was a gift...because it set
me on a path of discovery that would not have been possible without our
'shrouded' family dynamics.

My father abused me sexually, mentally and emotionally to the point that my innate sense of self
became extremely distorted and I began looking for love, acceptance and
approval from outside sources. I developed the compulsive coping
patterns anorexia and bulimia...and abused myself the way my father
abused me. It took years of searching and questioning before I slowly
began to understand that looking for answers and acceptance through
parents, friends, authorities, organized religions, the medical model,
the fashion industry, image-management..only to discover nothing
outside us will ever fulfill inner needs.

My first epiphany among many other light-bulb moments came when I had starved my body
down to 89 pounds. I thought being skinny would bring all that I was
yearning for...but it did not. The truth of my skewed perception was a
hard thing to accept. My fantasy about thin-ness translating into inner
peace turned out to by a myth...because everything else in my life
remained the same. Family problems remained, lack of intimacy remained,
my life was still unbalanced and off-track. It has a hard reality to
accept. But I was living a lie...I'd believed to be true. What a
turning point that was!

From that milestone moment I decided to change my beliefs...and change my life. I was able to overcome two
eating disorders and years of laxative abuse by deciding my life wishes
were stronger than my death wishes. From there a commitment developed
to live an authentic life and create congruency between my inner and
outer worlds..and it remains today. I know from personal and
professional experience that no one will achieve complete fulfillment
until they accept who they are from the inside...rather than allowing
others to define them from the outside. The process to becoming 'all
that we are' is achieved through conscious living, and contemplative
self-awareness.

Awareness is very curative and the foundation for all change and discovery, Learning to let go is the method that
eventually leads to an expanded sense of self. In the material David
and I present we suggest that anyone or anything that attempts to force
an ideology or dogma on another will eventually lead to an inauthentic
lifestyle In the most basic terms our view of spirituality is...a
matter of self-discovery..rather than of becoming something...or
someone other than you are.

Internal conflicts frequently leads to alienation with others and whatever interpretation we put on our
association with Source. How can we ever expect there to be peace in
the world if we, its inhabitants lack inner peace? A lack of harmony
within our inner and outer worlds...cannot help but be projected
outward to a perception of "us" versus"them?" The divisiveness within a
confused sense of self fosters judgments of others. "We" are
right...and "they' are wrong..our religion, political beliefs, health
models are the 'right' and only way...and all else is inferior.
Comparison always leads to discontent, confusion and...of course more
judgement.

To truly live an authentic life we need to learn how to release self-deception. That involves complete honest with ourselves
and the rest of the world. This level of integrity requires
conscientious attention, emotional maturity, self-accountability,
responsibility for the cause and effect of our choices, self-knowledge,
a willingness to change and an ability to be discerning and practice
sincere internal scrutiny. A classic Buddhist question puts it this
way: "Who were you and what did you look like before your parents were
born?" Looking at ourselves without form...and as a spiritual being
within a body it becomes easier to accept that...at the heart of you,
me, every single person, and all the creatures great and small there is
a pure light of love. That inner radiance reflects our essential nature
is the larger truth of who we are...sparks of Divinity that are given
life and a chance to celebrate our uniqueness in inwardly directed and
authentic ways in this journey called life.

This innate luminosity is our essential Self..and as has been said before...God/Goddess
does not create junk. Accepting that opens the door for anyone to live
their best life...on their own terms. Because we are, from my
perspective bright sources of energy...going through our various human
experiences. Wouldn't we have a lovely world is we could celebrate who
we are...and everyone else within the Onesong of our humanity?

WHAT DOES MONEY REPRESENT TO YOU?

Given that we are in the midst of tougher economic times this topic seems timely. After joining my first forum 3 years ago I am amazed at how many get-rich-quick schemes are advertised or discussed on line and off. A friend of ours in yet another multi-level marketing program and not to long ago one of our clients got mixed up in one of those Ponsie schemes where you put five grand in and bring two others who will do the same thing. She lost her shirt...and the five grand and her friends were not impressed when they did too.

David and I write, produce and present a variety of personal development courses and one of them involves the dynamics of money and people's relationship with it. I have condensed some of the basic ideas into a brief discussion.

So here goes...are you up for sharing how you views about money and what it represents to you? For example...
Does money represent any or all of the above?...Power?
...Prestige?
...Status symbol?
...Security?
...Freedom?
...Control mechanism?

Or do you view it in a completely different way? A quotation from Joseph Campbell suggests; "Money is congealed energy...and releasing it releases life's possibilities." After a lot of ups and downs in our financial life David and I finally came to view money the same way.

How and what we "view and do" with our money is a great representation of how we are doing in other areas of our life as well. When we are balanced, focused and living within our means there is greater prosperity and abundance within our financial flow.

During the times we have over-stretched ourselves in other areas and begin to live beyond our means mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically...it often shows up in our finances as well. Well that is a brief overview of my perspective on money...are you up for sharing yours? 

FOCUSED ATTENTION AND ATTENTIVE LISTENING...ARE WE LOSING IT?

The idea for this discussion came out as a direct result of our business development plans during the past few months.

I attended few seminars for small business owners in our area and there was a common thread in all their presentations. They kept saying..."You only have 15 seconds to grab people's attention...if you don't do you will lose them."

Then I have noticed that in conversations with some people they do not maintain any eye contact while chatting. They look away, gaze around and it is as if they are not capable of focusing on anything or anyone for more than a couple of minutes...if you even get that long.

Then there are those who can't wait for others to finish a sentence before they rudely interrupt, change the subject or override the person who was speaking only a moment before.

My next example are those who do make eye contact but you can tell they are not really listening. It is abundantly clear that they are far more involved in their own thoughts than anything anyone else has to say.

Even on discussion forums there are some members who present themselves and their ideas with a seemingly genuine interest in learning more about others. Then there are the little flip one liners that make many of us wonder...why bother?

Our work as life coaches often involves families members and teachers. They express concern about how young people are decimating languages with short form words that many do not "get." They see young people more involved with their blackberries and chatting to a variety of friends on line rather than getting out and connecting in person.
David and I experienced the same from some people when we asked them to read content on the website and give us critical feedback. Not all, but some said there was too much content for them to read...even though each link is approximately one page long.

Being that we market services...not a tangible product we feel it is important for prospective clients to be able to read who we are and what we are offering. The same thing used to happen when I posted longer discussions on Mylot. Too long discussions...can't read it...make them shorter and then I will reply. Again not everyone said that...but there have been enough over my two years there to make me aware that it is a growing mindset.

Now there is Twitter where people have a minimum number of characters to respond and that is shortening focus and attention span even more.

All these incidents are just observations of mine. However, I am curious if any of you are finding similar dynamics in your exchanges with people? If these examples are becoming the "norm" for modern society what does that say about us? Are we really making enough time for who and what matters to us?

So if our attention span is decreasing then what does it represent and where is it leading us? Are we so caught up in our own lives that there is no time to stay present, attentive and caring to friends and strangers alike? None of us can change what we are not aware of...so are you aware of these observations too...or is it just my perspective? 

MIND MAPS ARE POWERFUL SELF-DISCOVERY TOOLS

Mind maps are, by definition, a graphical method of taking notes. The visual basis of them helps one to distinguish words or ideas, often with colors and symbols. They generally take a hierarchical or tree branch format, with ideas branching into their subsections. Mind maps allow for greater creativity when recording ideas and information, as well as allowing the note-taker to associate words with visual representations. Mind maps and concept maps are different in that mind maps focus on only one word or idea, whereas Concept maps connect multiple words or idea.

Mind maps (or similar concepts) have been used for centuries in learning, brainstorming, memory, visual thinking, and problem solving by educators, engineers, psychologists, and others. Some of the earliest examples of mind maps were developed by Porphyry of Tyros, a noted thinker of the 3rd century, as he graphically visualized the concept categories of Aristotle. Philosopher Ramon Llull (1235 - 1315) also used mind maps.

A mind map is a diagram used to represent words, ideas, tasks, or other items linked to and arranged around a central key word or idea. Mind maps are used to generate, visualize, structure, and classify ideas, and as an aid in study, organization, problem solving, decision making, and writing.

The elements of a given mind map are arranged intuitively according to the importance of the concepts, and are classified into groupings, branches, or areas, with the goal of representing semantic or other connections between portions of information. Mind maps may also aid recall of existing memories.

By presenting ideas in a radial, graphical, non-linear manner, mind maps encourage a brainstorming approach to planning and organizational tasks. Though the branches of a mind map represent hierarchical tree structures, their radial arrangement disrupts the prioritizing of concepts typically associated with hierarchies presented with more linear visual cues. This orientation towards brainstorming encourages users to enumerate and connect concepts without a tendency to begin within a particular conceptual framework.

The mind map can be contrasted with the similar idea of concept mapping. The former is based on radial hierarchies and tree structures denoting relationships with a central governing concept, whereas concept maps are based on connections between concepts in more diverse patterns.

Mind maps have many applications in personal, family, educational, and business situations, including notetaking, brainstorming (wherein ideas are inserted into the map radially around the center node, without the implicit prioritization that comes from hierarchy or sequential arrangements, and wherein grouping and organizing is reserved for later stages), summarizing, revising, and general clarifying of thoughts. One could listen to a lecture, for example, and take down notes using mind maps for the most important points or keywords.
One can also use mind maps as a mnemonic technique or to sort out a complicated idea. Mind maps are also promoted as a way to collaborate in color pen creativity sessions.
Mind maps can be used for:-
• Problem Solving
• Outline / Framework Design
• Anonymous collaboration.
• Marriage of words and visuals.
• Individual expression of creativity.
• Condensing material into a concise and memorable format.
• Team building or synergy creating activity.
• Enhancing work morale.

WHAT DO YOU DO TO CENTER YOURSELF?

The term "centerdness" or being centered is bantered around and I have often wondered what people think about the concept. Then while doing research for an article I am writing I came across some information on the concept that decided to share it here. 

Thomas Crum author of the book, Journey to Center puts it this way: "There is not true path without center. With center the mind, body and spirit merge and passion and commitment unleashed in a force that cannot be contained."  Central to his approach he states that Contentedness is a true psycho physiological phenomenon that affects everything in your environment."

When I read the information Crum is putting forth most of it fits with what I have learned about the importance of finding one's center in both my personal and professional lives. In the training I have had it is evident that being centered is a mind/body/spiritual experience that occurs when one's attention and awareness form a bridge between the outer experiences and the inner core of your being. From this place it is easier to "live in this world but not of it." It assists me in  maintaining  a sense of balance while going through the most daunting experiences.

Having presented the above I am curious about your views on this topic. Do you have ways of 'centering' yourself when things become chaotic. If so...what are they? Do you think the idea is unfounded? Have you thought about it before or not? It is a fascinating concept and if you want to read more about it Thomas F. Crum has written the book Journey to the Center and the Magic of Conflict.

When I find myself feeling ungrounded or off-center I use breathing techniques, meditation, energy work, yoga, movement and prayer to help me move back into a more centered place.I also take 10 deep inhales and exhales and in the past few years I listen to CD's that synchronize the left and right hemispheres of the brain. They are called hemi-sync or brain sync and there is a related blog here and the link for it is: 

I welcome your input and of course...perspectives!

HOW HEALTH CONSCIOUS ARE YOU ON A SCALE OF 1-10?

As I life coach and writer in the healthy living field this is a question I often ask clients. With
that in mind I was curious how you would rate yourself on a scale of 1
to 10. To give you some ideas of how I see it within that bell curve a
rating a rating of 1 would be that you rarely, if ever give your health,
diet and everything pertaining to health much consideration. This
rating could include those who love to eat, drink, smoke and be merry
and not worry about the consequences their choices are having on their
current or long-range health.

Ratings within the 2 to 5 range could be those of you who have decided to make some changes towards  healthy living such as giving up smoking, drinking, losing a little
weight, drinking more water...but still love the richer foods and know
that there is room to cut down on the amount of sugars, carbs and fats.
Within this rating many are not into vitamin supplementation because
they are unconvinced they are worth the expense or that supplementing
the diet makes any difference anyway.

Ratings within 6-8 are those who consider themselves quite health conscious and are into
reading labels, staying informed about the latest healthy living
information, take vitamins, exercise when they can. People within this
rating often offer suggestions and information about their ever
expanding health consciousness and usually walk their talk about it.

If there is anyone who would put them in the 9-10 rating...I take my
hat off to you and say you are where I aspire to be. You are the ones
who are full fledged vegetarians...maybe even Vegans...you exercise,
meditate and have your emotional mental, spiritual, energetic and
physical aspects in harmony and you keep your life in balance...and good
for you that you do. You wonderful testimonies to healthy, balanced
living on every level. In my view you should also give yourself a star
beside the rating if you are managing to live life that way over the
long term. It is not easy to do in the fast-paced world we live in.

Anyway...in case you are curious how I would rate myself...probably in
the 6-8 rating. I am health conscious, eat wholesome foods with a low
fat diet and David makes wonderful raw, fresh fruit and vegetable juices
and I drink two glasses with my knee enhancing powdered supplement GLH
and MSM. I don't smoke or drink but I do enjoy a glass or two of white
dry wine on special occasions. The reason I cannot w rate myself any
higher is because I often throw my sleep patterns off by doing things 
on my computer or gaming into the night and sleeping later than I would
like to when I do. Exercising consistently over time is something else that I have never
quite mastered. Meditation and yoga are things I do...and they help to
keep the stress down...but no I am not a 9 or 10 so far.

OK there is my self-honest assessment...care to share yours? No judgments
here...just a friendly dialog between Cyber-friends!