This is a copy of the an article from my column Perspectives on Healthy Living. It has been reprinted her with permission from the Aquarian newspaper.
Hope gives wings to our dreams – but it is action that makes them come true.
Some say that the greatest enemy of action is the lack of a plan. But it can also be said that the greatest enemy of a plan is lack of action. Goals become merely wishful thinking unless you further define them as objectives with specific measurements and act upon them.
Some say that the greatest enemy of action is the lack of a plan. But it can also be said that the greatest enemy of a plan is lack of action. Goals become merely wishful thinking unless you further define them as objectives with specific measurements and act upon them.
Within the models my husband David Malloy and I use in our life coaching sessions, we define goals as an intended outcome that requires action and satisfies needs.
If goal is not the preferred word of choice it can be substituted with objective, target, performance, outcome, vision or mission. All these terms represent a desired outcome.
Goals are formed by a process of questions and internal dialogue.
We are constantly scanning the world around us to try and understand how things work and from there we decide on a chosen objective. We help our clients discern between their needs (which impact on the quality of life) and their wants (which are in the “nice to have” category).
Once clients decide that something is desirable, they also have to assess whether it is possible to attain.
As a life coach, I consistently work with clients who find it difficult to achieve success in some areas. Consequently, David and I developed a simple but effective equation called the DIAC Model to assist clients in meeting their objectives.
The DIAC Model gets you moving
Desire + Intent + ACTION = Change. This is a proven and practical way of setting and achieving goals. The desire can be anything ¬– from a wish to a resolution. When there is a clear intention coupled with a plan of action, changes occur. Without the action part of the equation, goals are rarely achieved.
Let’s use the example of a desire to improve physical fitness.
Desire: To get in shape.
Intent: Options are considered and the decision is made to purchase exercise equipment for the home or to join a gym. Coming up with a weekly schedule of exercise augments the intention. This is an example of how desire and intention are coupled.
The intention has some action within it and fuels the desire to reach the goal but it is not enough. If that were all it took to get in shape, the home equipment would not end up being used as a clothes rack. And deciding to go to a gym is not enough either. Some fitness facilities count on the fact that a high percentage of their clientele will quit within short order.
Action: This is the challenging aspect of the DIAC model yet it is the key that opens the door to change. If you do not follow your objectives through to completion then it is time to do some self-questioning and examine which part of the DIAC model is weak – desire or intent.
We tend to make time for what is important, be it family, work, interests and hobbies –so if we don’t make time for our goals, we have to look at the emotional resistance. We can use journaling or talking to friends about our resistance or we may choose to air things out with a counselor. If the goal is important, it’s worth the extra time, energy and resources to achieve it.
Change: The DIAC model can be applied to anything on your goal-setting/goal-getting agenda. Whether we call them goals or resolutions, the desire is the easy part. Intention adds energy to the desire and with a realistic action plan that is maintained, it is likely that your goals will come to fruition.
Tips on how to decide your goals
One suggestion is to sit down and write your own obituary as you would like it to be. This can be an effective way of prioritizing goals and achieving them.
The movie Bucket List holds appeal because the story shows how elderly friends decided to make a list of one hundred things they intended to do before they “kicked the bucket.” I often suggest that clients watch that movie to jump-start their goal planning – and it works!
It is important to use discernment in setting goals by not aiming too low or too high. You can always raise your expectations as you go along. Often the decision is based on self-image and can be influenced by the perceptions of others.
Ways to overcome resistance and move beyond the comfort zone
When we use the DIAC Model in private or group life-coaching sessions, clients frequently bump into patterns of resistance and make excuses not to continue with their action plan.
Some of the underlying reasons may be:
Emotional Safety. How will people react and can I handle their reactions if I do or do not succeed?
Belonging. Will I still feel like I belong and what will I do if I don’t?
Self-esteem/Self-Worth. Do I deserve this? Will my social status change? Will I have more or less influence?
Identity. If I have defined myself as being one way, can I accept the new “definers” that the achievement of this goal will bring?
There are many ways to uncover underlying patterns of resistance.
Here is the Yes/No exercise for you to try when you feel stuck:
Write: I want to do (goal) but I can’t because 1. _______. The next step involves saying the positive part either aloud or silently then writing down a second excuse. Repeat the process to get as close to 20 excuses as possible. Aim for quantity of excuses rather than quality. Although this sounds odd, it helps your resistance come to the surface more easily. When you evaluate your excuses, you can see how many are emotional inhibitions and how many are practical (like I need more information to do a certain thing). Also, look at your last excuse. Often this is what is really holding you back.
As you reference back to the DIAC Model, it becomes easier to assess whether short-term things that feel urgent are taking priority over your long-term goals. Yes, short-term goals may relieve short-term pressure but if they divert attention away from the action part of the model, they will interfere with the achievement of the larger objective.
Once clients decide that something is desirable, they also have to assess whether it is possible to attain.
As a life coach, I consistently work with clients who find it difficult to achieve success in some areas. Consequently, David and I developed a simple but effective equation called the DIAC Model to assist clients in meeting their objectives.
The DIAC Model gets you moving
Desire + Intent + ACTION = Change. This is a proven and practical way of setting and achieving goals. The desire can be anything ¬– from a wish to a resolution. When there is a clear intention coupled with a plan of action, changes occur. Without the action part of the equation, goals are rarely achieved.
Let’s use the example of a desire to improve physical fitness.
Desire: To get in shape.
Intent: Options are considered and the decision is made to purchase exercise equipment for the home or to join a gym. Coming up with a weekly schedule of exercise augments the intention. This is an example of how desire and intention are coupled.
The intention has some action within it and fuels the desire to reach the goal but it is not enough. If that were all it took to get in shape, the home equipment would not end up being used as a clothes rack. And deciding to go to a gym is not enough either. Some fitness facilities count on the fact that a high percentage of their clientele will quit within short order.
Action: This is the challenging aspect of the DIAC model yet it is the key that opens the door to change. If you do not follow your objectives through to completion then it is time to do some self-questioning and examine which part of the DIAC model is weak – desire or intent.
We tend to make time for what is important, be it family, work, interests and hobbies –so if we don’t make time for our goals, we have to look at the emotional resistance. We can use journaling or talking to friends about our resistance or we may choose to air things out with a counselor. If the goal is important, it’s worth the extra time, energy and resources to achieve it.
Change: The DIAC model can be applied to anything on your goal-setting/goal-getting agenda. Whether we call them goals or resolutions, the desire is the easy part. Intention adds energy to the desire and with a realistic action plan that is maintained, it is likely that your goals will come to fruition.
Tips on how to decide your goals
One suggestion is to sit down and write your own obituary as you would like it to be. This can be an effective way of prioritizing goals and achieving them.
The movie Bucket List holds appeal because the story shows how elderly friends decided to make a list of one hundred things they intended to do before they “kicked the bucket.” I often suggest that clients watch that movie to jump-start their goal planning – and it works!
It is important to use discernment in setting goals by not aiming too low or too high. You can always raise your expectations as you go along. Often the decision is based on self-image and can be influenced by the perceptions of others.
Ways to overcome resistance and move beyond the comfort zone
When we use the DIAC Model in private or group life-coaching sessions, clients frequently bump into patterns of resistance and make excuses not to continue with their action plan.
Some of the underlying reasons may be:
Emotional Safety. How will people react and can I handle their reactions if I do or do not succeed?
Belonging. Will I still feel like I belong and what will I do if I don’t?
Self-esteem/Self-Worth. Do I deserve this? Will my social status change? Will I have more or less influence?
Identity. If I have defined myself as being one way, can I accept the new “definers” that the achievement of this goal will bring?
There are many ways to uncover underlying patterns of resistance.
Here is the Yes/No exercise for you to try when you feel stuck:
Write: I want to do (goal) but I can’t because 1. _______. The next step involves saying the positive part either aloud or silently then writing down a second excuse. Repeat the process to get as close to 20 excuses as possible. Aim for quantity of excuses rather than quality. Although this sounds odd, it helps your resistance come to the surface more easily. When you evaluate your excuses, you can see how many are emotional inhibitions and how many are practical (like I need more information to do a certain thing). Also, look at your last excuse. Often this is what is really holding you back.
As you reference back to the DIAC Model, it becomes easier to assess whether short-term things that feel urgent are taking priority over your long-term goals. Yes, short-term goals may relieve short-term pressure but if they divert attention away from the action part of the model, they will interfere with the achievement of the larger objective.
It is important to remember that achieving goals is one of the key ways to feel good and improve our sense of self. The same feel-good emotions arise when we anticipate that we will hit the mark with our chosen target. Anticipation is a good thing because it is a natural motivator as we envision the changes we expect to achieve.
With the combination of desire and intention, plus a solid and realistic plan of action – positive life-affirming changes can and do happen. Think DIAC; enjoy success.
Coralie Darsey-Malloy is a freelance writer, author, life coach, seminar leader and public speaker. For more information check out her Fresh Beginnings website at www.fresh-beginnings.com or call (204) 242-3373.
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